My papa was my HERO, he was born and raised in Petal, Mississippi. He was a member of the US Army National Guard for a total of 43 years. he climed the ranks to Command Sgt Major, where he retired and missed his service beyond belief. He married his best friend Grandma Dude as she was called and she died at a very young age of 46. My fondest memories of him were his life with my grandmother, the love and bond that they shared was one that would last a lifetime, I know because he spent my lifetime raising me. I was the reason my Papa carried on, at my young age of 12 he gained custody of me and OUR journey began. this journey led down a path that most say saved BOTH our lives. He had no idea what he was doing and I had No idea that I could get away with so much, but I knew that in the end the easiest way was to follow his footsteps. You see Papa had MANY hats, he was a "Papa" a Mother, a Father, and a Best Friend, he held me when I cried, he laughed with me when I was silly, and he prayed for me when no one else would! I never knew that one man could be PERFECT in my eyes, not until the morning that he passed away. Papa and I always had a bond that would make some jealous, and ALL to envy. He carried with him the presence to make a man laugh or shake, you never quite knew where he stood until the moment of truth. I never had to guess if "he loved me, I ALWAYS knew" he told with almost ever breath he took. My papa instilled in me Value, Courage, and GUTS! Who would have ever known that what made my Papa so proud of me would take me away from him so often. The day I joined the Army was a day with mixed emotion, I saw Pride, I saw Admeration, and I saw fear in his eyes. His words still ring in my ears, "Don't give up Tanya, Don't let them see your fear, and NEVER GIVE UP" who would have known that would be the words I said to him in the last months of his life. You see I always pushed papa, motivated him to fight, to not give up, to stay strong and to wait for me, all he ever had to do is say "Tanya I need you," and I would be there! I always tried no matter what to be there, for a phone call, for a quick trip home just to say Ok Papa Fight, stay strong, don't you give up on me. I made a pact with Papa months before he died, it was to hang on, fight and I would be home for Christmas. I got a phone call 4 days before Christmas and was told Tanya you need to come home Papa isn't doing good, I talked to God the entire way from New Orleans, La to Hattiesburg, Ms and asked God what do I do? God told me Tanya just get to him now, that was a Saturday, I had all intentions of walking into his hospital room and saying "Papa get your butt out of that bed and you fight, thats an order" but when I opened his door and saw him laying there I knew what I really had to do, I needed to pray and ask God for guidence, and that is what I did! I remember it perfectly it was 1330, papa was sleeping and I pulled a chair up next to his bed, I sat there for an hour and quitely cried and asked god to please help him, to not let the one true love of my life suffer. I knew then at that moment that it was time, that papa was going to leave me and finally go and be with Grandma. After an hour or more Papa woke up and said "Who is there, I simply said Papa it's me, and without a second passing he said Tanya I knew you would come, I dreamed you would and you brought the angel with you. I was very confused and papa explained that his angel had come to him less than a year prior to this and so had Grandma, and when he woke up and I was there so was his angel, sitting right there behind me. I knew that it would not be long before God would call him home. The words of that visit stay with me everyday, papa said "Tanya I am dieing, and for the first time in my life god allowed me to say, I know Papa, and it is ok, just let go, I am ok, I will continue to do as you taught me and make you proud, I will love and miss you more than you know and I will look forward to the day that you greet me, when it is my time to be called home. At that moment there was peace in that room, no hurt, just tears. Monday morning, Christmas Eve 0915 AM papa left this world, and I miss him beyond words. I feel his presence around me, and only once have I not felt him around me and that was the darkest of days. When I am sick I feel his arms around me, when I get mad and slip with a few cuss words I hear Papa saying "Tanya stop being ugly" and I hear Papa in my dreams say Tanya you fight, and you fight hard. I am here, I am never far from you all you have to do is think of me and I am there. Papa I miss you and I love you more than I think you EVER really knew! The songs that I chose for this page has MEANING, the morning of Papa's funeral I had my husband Chris take me to the funerl home very early that morning, I needed to have "MY" time with Papa, it was always him and I, no one could understand that: but him and I did, I needed to have one last talk with him, and in another chapel a service was taking place and I could hear the music through the intercome and the song that the family played for their loved one was In the Arms Of An Angel", it was as it had always been just me and papa, at that moment I knew this song was his way of telling me he was ok, and he was where he needed to be. The second song I chose was my Papa's favorite song, it was the song that I chose to be played at his funeral, I am positive he was smiling down at me for this one! He knew that when it was all said and done I would carry on with Value, Courage, and GUTS!!